Why Did You?

The first time I noticed her was when I caught her staring at me for the second time. I'm used to people staring at me because of my body. I have a big front and curves on the right places. I often caught people staring at my body, and they will just smile when they realized that I'm already looking back at them. Some attempted to approach me, and I've always treated them nicely.

The second time that I caught her was the first time, after a long time, that I felt awkward. The first time, after a long time, that I feel like someone is looking at me. She was looking at my face, right into my eyes, straight to my naked soul.
I felt something inside me shifted. A chemical reaction. A defense mechanism that suddenly activated. "Avoid her at all cost". That's the course of action my system decided to take.

Ironically, because I decided to avoid her, I end up always looking for her, thinking that she might be just around where I am. I never saw her again. Eventually, I stopped looking for her. I stopped thinking about her. Or so I thought. Subconsciously, I started looking for people who looks at me..... ...the way that she did.

As my heart breaks, all I could think of was "How can I make her feel better? How can I make this easier for her?"